I did one of those things I thought I would never do: I set up an account on-line for single lesbians in Washington.
I don't want to go to the altar yet, I just want to find some friends who aren't already married and busy "nesting", and Bellingham Washington is not exactly crawling with lesbians. But, Seattle is!
So, I start answering all these questions and realize that they are labels. Labels that I don't fit!
Am I fem or butch? Hell, I don't know. I don't care.
What religion am I? Hmmm. If I answer Christian, what does that mean to people? A Hell fire and damnation person? A Republican? An anti-abortionist? If I say Buddhist, does that mean I believe in reincarnation? That I believe in Nirvana and not an actual Heaven?
What political stance do I hold? Liberal? Not necessarily. Democrat? Ummmm, no not entirely. Republican? No.
What do I do for a living? Now that's a good one. Do I answer that I am on hiatus from the working world thereby seemingy unemployable, unreliable, irresponsible or just lucky?
I have never been good at this label thing. I know that it makes it easier for people to have labels. It is safe and concrete.
But, that really has been my struggle since Anne died. The labels that I had got shredded, or now after all these years of us just knowing each other, now have to be defined again.
Perhaps it is time to ditch the label thing and go without. But then, someone out there would make a label that said, "not labeled"!